New Delhi:
The Indian Metereological Department has begun the practice of naming Cyclones, adopting a practice followed in the U.S., which has in the past given us names for natural disasters like hurricanes Katrina and Rita. The Director General of the IMD has announced that henceforth cyclones, hurricanes and tornadoes hitting the country would be named after ‘Item Girls’, saying that the physical destruction caused by cyclones mirrored the moral destruction caused by Item Girls.
The first cyclone to occur after the system kicks off will be named Cyclone Helen, to honour the services rendered by the foremost item girl produced by the Indian Film Industry to date. The Met Dept has tentatively decided to name the Cyclone following Cyclone Helen as Cyclone Sridevi to recognize the contributions of Ms. Sridevi who was known as ‘Thundering Thighs’ during the peak of her career.
A list of the most popular item girls in each year would be drawn up and cyclone names would be decided in order of popularity.
Friday, December 30, 2005
Gold prices hit Record High, World Bank asks Bappi Lahiri to step In
New York
Gold prices have hit a new historic high this week, and the World Bank fears they might rise further given rising demand in the U.S. and European markets during the holiday season.
However, the World Bank is most concerned about the rising demand for the precious commodity from the world’s largest gold consumer, Mr. Bappi Lahiri, the music director from India known for his taste for the yellow metal. Mr. Lahiri, fresh from his success with his new TV show is said to be the single largest reason for this spike in gold prices. World Bank President, Mr. Paul Wolfowitz has asked Mr. Lahiri to desist from making further purchases of gold jewellery until the present crisis in the world markets passes over. Further, Mr. Wolfowitz has appealed to him to release a small proportion of his jewellery supplies into the world markets in order to help small countries which are feeling the squeeze to replenish their gold reserves.
Mr. Wolfowitz has estimated that world gold prices could reduce by upto 25% if Mr. Lahiri were to release just 2% of his jewellery collection into the market. Mr. Lahiri, however, has refused to co-operate with the World Bank unless he is compensated for the gold he releases in the form of platinum arm bands and necklaces.
Gold prices have hit a new historic high this week, and the World Bank fears they might rise further given rising demand in the U.S. and European markets during the holiday season.
However, the World Bank is most concerned about the rising demand for the precious commodity from the world’s largest gold consumer, Mr. Bappi Lahiri, the music director from India known for his taste for the yellow metal. Mr. Lahiri, fresh from his success with his new TV show is said to be the single largest reason for this spike in gold prices. World Bank President, Mr. Paul Wolfowitz has asked Mr. Lahiri to desist from making further purchases of gold jewellery until the present crisis in the world markets passes over. Further, Mr. Wolfowitz has appealed to him to release a small proportion of his jewellery supplies into the world markets in order to help small countries which are feeling the squeeze to replenish their gold reserves.
Mr. Wolfowitz has estimated that world gold prices could reduce by upto 25% if Mr. Lahiri were to release just 2% of his jewellery collection into the market. Mr. Lahiri, however, has refused to co-operate with the World Bank unless he is compensated for the gold he releases in the form of platinum arm bands and necklaces.
Scientists develop face transplant technology, Tupur Demands that Tapur undergo procedure
Mumbai:
Surgeons in France have developed a complicated surgery which allows severely disfigured faces to be revived using a Face Transplant procedure. The procedure has raised a firestorm of criticism as scientists and religious organizations debate the scientific and moral dilemmas that this breakthrough has unleashed.
Ms. Tupur Chatterjee, a model from Mumbai, identical twin sister of Ms. Tapur Chatterjee, also a model, has raised a controversy of a different kind. She has demanded that Ms. Tapur must undergo this procedure. She says that the fact that the 2 models are identical twins has significantly affected her career prospects since model co-ordinators and directors often confuse the sisters with each other, approaching her sister for assignments which they actually meant to offer her. She complains that her asking rate could easily double if the supply of the Chatterjees in the modeling industry could be restricted only to her.
Ms Tupur has offered to herself undergo the surgery, in case Ms. Tapur were to refuse. In related news, Ms. Aishwarya Rai has demanded that all 'ice maidens' undergo the face transplant procedure.
Surgeons in France have developed a complicated surgery which allows severely disfigured faces to be revived using a Face Transplant procedure. The procedure has raised a firestorm of criticism as scientists and religious organizations debate the scientific and moral dilemmas that this breakthrough has unleashed.
Ms. Tupur Chatterjee, a model from Mumbai, identical twin sister of Ms. Tapur Chatterjee, also a model, has raised a controversy of a different kind. She has demanded that Ms. Tapur must undergo this procedure. She says that the fact that the 2 models are identical twins has significantly affected her career prospects since model co-ordinators and directors often confuse the sisters with each other, approaching her sister for assignments which they actually meant to offer her. She complains that her asking rate could easily double if the supply of the Chatterjees in the modeling industry could be restricted only to her.
Ms Tupur has offered to herself undergo the surgery, in case Ms. Tapur were to refuse. In related news, Ms. Aishwarya Rai has demanded that all 'ice maidens' undergo the face transplant procedure.
Salman Orders Pizza, Turns Violent when Vivek Oberoi Delivers.
Mumbai:
Actor Salman was arrested by Mumbai Police after turning to blows with his pizza delivery boy yesterday. Mr. Khan had earlier in the day called up Pizza Hut to order their latest variety of pizza known as Freshizza. His order was delivered at his residence within the stipulated half hour.
Mr. Khan turned violent when he realized that his pizza had been delivered to him by none other than Mr. Vivek Oberoi, his rival for the affections of actress Ms. Aishwarya Rai. Mr. Oberoi had been enlisted for the assignment as part of the promotion of his new feature film: Home Delivery.
Mr. Khan used abusive language and threatened to ‘bump off’ Mr. Oberoi, saying that all he needed to do was to make a phone call to notorious gangster, Chota Shakeel, with whom he claimed to be on very close terms. Mr. Oberoi not to be left behind, immediately called a press conference and threatened to quit the Hindi film industry if justice was not meted out to Mr. Khan for his obscene behavior with him.
Elsewhere, Mr. Shekhar Suman, the host of the popular night-time comedy show, ‘The Great Indian Comedy show’, declared his solidarity with Mr. Oberoi, saying that Mr. Oberoi leaving the Hindi film industry would threaten his livelihood as he would lose a constant source of his jokes.
Actor Salman was arrested by Mumbai Police after turning to blows with his pizza delivery boy yesterday. Mr. Khan had earlier in the day called up Pizza Hut to order their latest variety of pizza known as Freshizza. His order was delivered at his residence within the stipulated half hour.
Mr. Khan turned violent when he realized that his pizza had been delivered to him by none other than Mr. Vivek Oberoi, his rival for the affections of actress Ms. Aishwarya Rai. Mr. Oberoi had been enlisted for the assignment as part of the promotion of his new feature film: Home Delivery.
Mr. Khan used abusive language and threatened to ‘bump off’ Mr. Oberoi, saying that all he needed to do was to make a phone call to notorious gangster, Chota Shakeel, with whom he claimed to be on very close terms. Mr. Oberoi not to be left behind, immediately called a press conference and threatened to quit the Hindi film industry if justice was not meted out to Mr. Khan for his obscene behavior with him.
Elsewhere, Mr. Shekhar Suman, the host of the popular night-time comedy show, ‘The Great Indian Comedy show’, declared his solidarity with Mr. Oberoi, saying that Mr. Oberoi leaving the Hindi film industry would threaten his livelihood as he would lose a constant source of his jokes.
Saurav Sends Resume to Infosys, Rejected
Kolkata:
Out of job, former captain of the Indian Cricket Team, Saurav Ganguly, entered the IT job market recently by sending his resume to well known Tech companies like Infosys and Wipro. In an interaction with the media recently, at his home in Kolkata, he announced that he had engaged the services of a professional Resume Drafting company to build what he called a ‘Killer Resume’ for himself.
A representative of the Human Resources Department at Infosys, however was unable to confirm receiving Mr. Ganguly’s Resume. On being asked whether she thought Mr. Ganguly would make a good candidate for a Tech job, the representative, on condition of anonymity, let it be known that the Infosys top management had already anticipated that Mr. Ganguly would apply to their organization and had conducted a detailed review of his suitability to the job. They found him to be unsuitable on account of his lack of relevant experience. The representative advised Mr. Ganguly to gain at least 2 years work experience in a mid-tier IT Company before re-applying to Infosys.
An entry-level employee of Infosys, who spoke with us on condition of anonymity, advised Mr. Ganguly to apply for the position of a Project Manager instead. This employee believes that he matched the job requirements for the position of PM perfectly, since he too contributed little or nothing to the success of his team, relying instead on middle and junior level members of his team to get the job done.
Out of job, former captain of the Indian Cricket Team, Saurav Ganguly, entered the IT job market recently by sending his resume to well known Tech companies like Infosys and Wipro. In an interaction with the media recently, at his home in Kolkata, he announced that he had engaged the services of a professional Resume Drafting company to build what he called a ‘Killer Resume’ for himself.
A representative of the Human Resources Department at Infosys, however was unable to confirm receiving Mr. Ganguly’s Resume. On being asked whether she thought Mr. Ganguly would make a good candidate for a Tech job, the representative, on condition of anonymity, let it be known that the Infosys top management had already anticipated that Mr. Ganguly would apply to their organization and had conducted a detailed review of his suitability to the job. They found him to be unsuitable on account of his lack of relevant experience. The representative advised Mr. Ganguly to gain at least 2 years work experience in a mid-tier IT Company before re-applying to Infosys.
An entry-level employee of Infosys, who spoke with us on condition of anonymity, advised Mr. Ganguly to apply for the position of a Project Manager instead. This employee believes that he matched the job requirements for the position of PM perfectly, since he too contributed little or nothing to the success of his team, relying instead on middle and junior level members of his team to get the job done.
Greg Waves Finger at Rains, Irks VHP
Chennai:
Mr. Greg Chappel, the coach of the Indian Cricket Team, was spotted giving the finger to the raingods yesterday. Greg, frustrated after having to endure a nearly washed out Test Match against Sri Lanka, was caught by Television Cameras waving an unsavory finger at the sky. In the images, Greg is seen to emerge from the Dressing Room, take a long hard look at the sky and lose his temper.
The visuals were immediately flashed all over the Television Networks and have created a furore. Particularly upset have been the Vishwa Hindu Parishad and the Bajrang Dal, who have called this an act of blasphemy. Mr. Praveen Togadia, the General Secretary of the VHP, fumed in an interaction with reporters yesterday, “How can this white man defile our religious sentiments this way by brazenly pointing his finger at the god of Rain, Indra? This act must not go unpunished”. He has threatened to organize a nationwide protest. He has also declared his intention to organize a Mahayagya on 25-th of December, to appease Indra and exhort him to rain out all the Indian team’s cricket matches, as long as Mr. Chappel continues to be the coach of the team.
Elsewhere Mr. K S Sudarshan, the chief of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh has asked all Hindus to urgently have at least 8 children per family in order to offer one child per family as sacrifice as part of the December 25-th Mahayagya to appease Indra.
Mr. Greg Chappel, the coach of the Indian Cricket Team, was spotted giving the finger to the raingods yesterday. Greg, frustrated after having to endure a nearly washed out Test Match against Sri Lanka, was caught by Television Cameras waving an unsavory finger at the sky. In the images, Greg is seen to emerge from the Dressing Room, take a long hard look at the sky and lose his temper.
The visuals were immediately flashed all over the Television Networks and have created a furore. Particularly upset have been the Vishwa Hindu Parishad and the Bajrang Dal, who have called this an act of blasphemy. Mr. Praveen Togadia, the General Secretary of the VHP, fumed in an interaction with reporters yesterday, “How can this white man defile our religious sentiments this way by brazenly pointing his finger at the god of Rain, Indra? This act must not go unpunished”. He has threatened to organize a nationwide protest. He has also declared his intention to organize a Mahayagya on 25-th of December, to appease Indra and exhort him to rain out all the Indian team’s cricket matches, as long as Mr. Chappel continues to be the coach of the team.
Elsewhere Mr. K S Sudarshan, the chief of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh has asked all Hindus to urgently have at least 8 children per family in order to offer one child per family as sacrifice as part of the December 25-th Mahayagya to appease Indra.
Gowda Angry with Bangalore Dead, Calls them Land Sharks
Bangalore:
Former Prime Minister and JD(S) Supremo, Mr. H.D. Deve Gowda, has decried the Karnataka State Government for allotting prime properties to cemeteries in and around Bangalore. He has accused the Bangalore Dead Persons’ Association of being ‘Land Sharks’ and has accused it of demanding more land than is really needed for its activities.
In a strongly worded statement, Mr. Gowda criticized the BDPA saying, ”The BDPA has been allotted far more land than is it really needs. This is clearly evidence of the fact that the association has been trading land with the nether-world, cleverly parceling off land from this world into the next”. He went on to praise the HDPA, Hyderabad’s counterpart of the BDPA, for being able to carry out its operations out of rented premises. He thundered, “The HDPA does not own a single sq ft. of land in Hyderabad. Do you see them raising such a hue and cry?”
Defending his organization, the Chairman of the BDPA sharply attacked Mr. Gowda for making allegations against him. It has lampooned Mr. Gowda, saying that many times during his tenure as Prime Minister, he came very close to seeming to be a member of their organization, especially when he was attending long seminars and speeches.
Former Prime Minister and JD(S) Supremo, Mr. H.D. Deve Gowda, has decried the Karnataka State Government for allotting prime properties to cemeteries in and around Bangalore. He has accused the Bangalore Dead Persons’ Association of being ‘Land Sharks’ and has accused it of demanding more land than is really needed for its activities.
In a strongly worded statement, Mr. Gowda criticized the BDPA saying, ”The BDPA has been allotted far more land than is it really needs. This is clearly evidence of the fact that the association has been trading land with the nether-world, cleverly parceling off land from this world into the next”. He went on to praise the HDPA, Hyderabad’s counterpart of the BDPA, for being able to carry out its operations out of rented premises. He thundered, “The HDPA does not own a single sq ft. of land in Hyderabad. Do you see them raising such a hue and cry?”
Defending his organization, the Chairman of the BDPA sharply attacked Mr. Gowda for making allegations against him. It has lampooned Mr. Gowda, saying that many times during his tenure as Prime Minister, he came very close to seeming to be a member of their organization, especially when he was attending long seminars and speeches.
John too wants to be a Superstar, follows Amitabh to Lilavati
Mumbai
Model turned actor John Abraham has been admitted to Lilavati hospital in Mumbai with fever. The actor was admitted to the same hospital in suburban Mumbai where superstar Amitabh Bachchan underwent surgery recently.
Asked about the nature of his illness, Mr. Abraham refused to comment. However, medical aides attending to him said that they heard him mumbling in his sleep the previous night that he would become a superstar now. Apparently, Mr. Abraham felt that since he was unable to follow in the footsteps of Mr. Bachchan, in his acting areer, he would definitely attain glory by following the latter to hospital.
Enthused by the saturation coverage given by the media to Mr. Bachchan’s illness, Mr. Abraham was said to be eagerly awaiting the arrival of the media contingents at the hospital. Media persons, however, appeared to be disinterested in his illness and preferred to avoid the trip to the hospital.
Meanwhile, reports just in indicate that Mr. Abraham has asked Ms. Bipasha Basu, to visit him tomorrow in ‘suitable attire’, to create media interest in covering his illness.
Model turned actor John Abraham has been admitted to Lilavati hospital in Mumbai with fever. The actor was admitted to the same hospital in suburban Mumbai where superstar Amitabh Bachchan underwent surgery recently.
Asked about the nature of his illness, Mr. Abraham refused to comment. However, medical aides attending to him said that they heard him mumbling in his sleep the previous night that he would become a superstar now. Apparently, Mr. Abraham felt that since he was unable to follow in the footsteps of Mr. Bachchan, in his acting areer, he would definitely attain glory by following the latter to hospital.
Enthused by the saturation coverage given by the media to Mr. Bachchan’s illness, Mr. Abraham was said to be eagerly awaiting the arrival of the media contingents at the hospital. Media persons, however, appeared to be disinterested in his illness and preferred to avoid the trip to the hospital.
Meanwhile, reports just in indicate that Mr. Abraham has asked Ms. Bipasha Basu, to visit him tomorrow in ‘suitable attire’, to create media interest in covering his illness.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)